uncertain...

wow, it's already wednesday. where is the week going? i feel like i have been running around with my head cut off. i have a questions for all the moms (and dads) out there. how do you balance motherhood and a job outside of the home? i went for a job interview today. can i just tell you...i have not worked outside of the home since i can't tell you when. my oldest is 16 and my baby will be 11 this month. i feel it's time to help out the family but, i don't want to sacrifice it either. i know there is a balance, i have seen it done in both mothers and fathers. i can remember growing up and my mom having to work. she was a single parent of two for 9 1/2 years. she at many times worked 3 jobs at once just to support us. she also put herself through school. can i just tell you how much i am impressed by her...she is truly amaZing!!! she is my hereo! she graduated with honors and received a bronzed diploma. i know these are things she doesn't mention to everyone but, she should be proud of what she has accomplished in her life. i always remember wishing my mom could be there for all my special events but, i understood she had to work. now as a mother myself i don't want my children thinking those thoughts of me. i know she HAD to work. she wanted a better life for herself and her children. we knew that she had only one choice. i on the other hand have a little more choice than she did. i just don't want to make the wrong choice. so today... i think of the question and i am hoping to get some suggestions on it. i want to know and feel i am making the right decision for all parties involved. today i am so so uncertain...this world i live in...so unwritten. though i feel like it's me~against the world...