hmmm...

i feel like these last few days didn't really happen. were they just a blur? was i dreaming? was it deja vu? then i look at my son and the pictures and realize...it was reaL. i think when something like this happens it is meant for a reason. not saying i am glad it happened. just that it is an eye opener. for me it was. a have had a flood of emotions lately. some good, some bad. ones that i am grateful for and ones that make me do a lot of questioning. one thing i realized through all of this is...we do have guardian angels. how ever you want to think of them is up to you. it might have been a family member who has passed on, a sick relative on their way home to heaven, a family or fRiend thinking of you at that very moment or God himself. i was again reminded that these angels are always with us. we also have the Holy Ghost with us at all times as well. it all depends on what we are doing, what choices we are making for them to seem more present in our daily lives. i am reminded that i am not telling my kids i love them daily. i am reminded that i am not saying my prayers faithfully. i am reminded that my family NEEDS to come first. that i need to stop being selfish and put my needs aside for a bit. i am still trying to wrap my finger around all of this. still trying to not ask the question "why". as i sit here typing with tears filling my eyes, i am truly bleSsed and gRateful. for all the prayers. for all of my family members and extended family members. for all of my friends. for all of the people who touch my life on a daily bases. for my life! at times i get so overloaded, so overwhelmed that i can't function. that i feel like i am gonna go over the deep end. then this still small voice reminds me that i have a purpose. i may not know what it is all the time but, i know i am needed. i know that somewhere out there in this crazy world someone needs me. thanks for listening to me babble. i think i just needed a good cry. k, i'm over it and moving on. have a great night. *hugs*