happy birthday to my baby boy Trevor!! 

it's hard to believe you are already 17 years old. 

where have the years gone?

i love you!!

{playing catch up}

i have a lot to catch up on. my life has been crazy busy and i have loved every minute of it! the joys of motherhood.

• spring break: the kids and i eNjoYed a wonderful couple of days at my girlfriend shelly's home in scottsdale. she has a pool and we lOvEd it!! thanks shelly and family.

• on march 13th mY second oldest son, trevor past his test to receive his driving permit. look out world...trevor is on the road. mY kiddos get so tired of mom taking pictures. hey, i am a scrapper and someone has got to document all the memories. love you trev and congrats!

• i am now employed!!! i received a phone call from {piggy tales} a scrapbooking company last week about teaching for them. i am so excited for this new challenge. they are an amaZing company with an amaZing group of people. i am privileged and honored to be a little part of it. you can check out their website {here} and also their {blog}. i was in mesa this weekend to do my training. i sat in on all of the classes to see how things are done. really stinkin' cute classes i must say! if you have a chance to attend any shows you must sign up for one of their classes. i will be teaching at 9 of them. you can check out where i will be on the right side of my blog. thanks piggy tales for this great opportunity. thanks trina for a great day!

more to come...

so tired...

where has the last 4 weeks gone? so much has happened since my last blog entry. it's kinda late and i have so much to fill you in on. i think i might just have to wait until i am not so dang sleepy. so stopping in to say "hi". hope all my blogging friends and lurkers are doing well. wanted to send wishes to dianna, hope "U" are feeling better my friend. *hugs*

YOU deserve it all!!

{pOweR}
in a very
real sense, we are
the authors of our
own lives. ~mandy aftel

how many times have we said to ourselves....what is mY purpose here? why am i here? what is all this for? we were sent here to live life to the fullest! many of us do this but many struggle day to day just to live. this life isn't easy. the roads we take aren't easy. many times we have to just jump on and hang on. many of us have to walk this life alone. it may not be by choice. though if you look deep enough you will see you are never REALLY alone. we truly are authors of our own lives! we get to decide if we wake up in the morning. we have a choice to make our day be a good one or bad. we can decide to smile {even if you don't want to} at a stranger or our enemy. we can choose to have many friends or none. we can choose to love and be loved. we can choose to love ourselves or hate ourselves. have you ever really sat back and took a great big deep cleansing breath? one in silence, one that makes you stop and see your surroundings, to see YOU? the real YOU! the one that for so long has wondered and thought of all the mistakes you have made in this life. the YOU that has talents that you have hidden for so long. the YOU that has loads of good in you that you have chosen not to see for a long time. the YOU that other people look at and say wow. the YOU that is quiet, yet open to others. the YOU that puts everyone before yourself. the YOU that would rather give your last dollar than see someone else struggle. the YOU that doesn't know why GOD has put these challenges in your life but knows that in the end they are there for a reason. the YOU that should be saying...i deserve to be haPpY. i deserve to be lOveD. i deserve to know what this life is all about.

YOU have the pOweR, YOU are the author of YOUR life. how you choose to live it...it's all up to YOU!!

tHaNk yOu

it's been awhile since i have written. tOdaY is a daY i need to write! i have so much to be thankful for. so much to love and live for. my blessing are flowing over and i just can't seem to get it all out today.


don't know why but i started renting movies from netflix. i do know why...the movie rentals and late fees are outrageous! one of the first movies i received is ps. i love you. oh my gosh!!! why have i not seen this movie before. i mean, come on...it's been out for 2 years now. maybe it wasn't the right time to see it. then when i got it and read the cover...i thought, do i want to watch this movie right now. with all that is going on in my life and with my aunt, i just can't. i have had this movie for 5 days and i put it in this morning. WOW is all i can say. i took so much out of this movie. life is short and we must live it and treasure every moment of it. if we don't...it just might not be worth living. so what if you have a bad day or someone made you mad. what are you gonna do about it? how are you going to deal with it? we have all had a loved one pass on, right? how did you cope? what did you do to celebrate their life? did you celebrate it or did you just treat it as another day? how do you celebrate it years later? what did you learn if anything? people make mistakes. we are suppose to. if we don't, we would be perfect and NO ONE is perfect! we are to dust ourselves off, jump back up and move forward. i know i have said this before but it is all coming full circle and hitting me right in the face.


"it's the little things" i say, that mean the most. the "i love you most", the good nights, the kisses when you tuck the kids in bed, the smiles on faces, the smell of fresh cut grass, the "hellos" and so many more. i am done trying to figure this life out. i have decided it's time to LIVE it! to celebrate the little things. to say thaNk yOu when complimented, to smiLe when i really don't want to cause maybe someone is falling in love with mY smile. it's giving when you have nothing else to give.


so this blog is my creativity for the day. mY something new that made me laugh, cry and smile all at the same time. it's my time to say "thank you" to all of you. for your support, your words, your thoughts, your kindness, your friendship and love! thanks for all the things you continue to do for me in mY life!!

"i am ok, i am alright. though you have gone from my life. you said that it would, now everything should be alright". ~flogging molly

trying to understand...

i am having a really difficult time right now. we seem to always think things are bad in our lives. that our lives are so full of negativity and crap. then...you hear of someone else's life. you sit back and say to yourself... it could be worse, right? well, i feel like mY family has been hit with a ton of bricks. my aunt cindy, the one that i am always quoting here was just diagnosed with rare stomach cancer. our family is still in shock! we are asking any of you who feel the need to help us find the right doctors for her to fast and pray. we are doing a family fast saturday night until sunday at 4 pm. any and all prayers are so much appreciated. it's a true test of faith when something like this occurs. you have all sorts of emotions...denial, anger, fear, frustration and so much more. you wonder why them? why would God do this to someone so righteous. someone who has so much to give and so much more to offer. you are so full of emotions that you wish it was a dream. well, it's not and now we have to face this with positiveness and hope. hope to find the right doctors for this rare cancer. hope that she and her family will stay strong. hope that her body will do all it can to continue to hold on. i am sooo blessed to have my aunt in my life. she has taught me more than she knows. she is a true child of God and i am honored to call her my aunt. may we all remember that this life is short. that you never know what God has in store for you. that you treat each day as if it were your last. that you love always, laugh much and forgive others! i love you aunt cindy! you are my hero!!

it seems like F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!!

ok, i have so many unfinished blog entries that i though i am gonna just do this one real quick so i can hit the "publish post" button. a lot of you may know that i had surgery last month and i am still recovering. my recovery time is 4-6 weeks. just like having a baby but, no baby! with this, my life has been pretty much craZier than ever. it's tough not driving and having to ask ever one to do your normal daily things for you. my family, kids and friends have been amaZing!! if it weren't for them...i don't know where i would be with this recovery right now. anywho...i just wanted to pop in real quick to say "hello" and i hope to get back to blogging soon. thanks again to everyone who has checked on me either through calls, emails, text messages and stopping by. i am truly grateful and blessed! have a fabulous tuesday my friends.

just living is not enough...

one must have sunshine,

freedom and

a few flowers.

~ hans christian anderson

i can't promise all of you sunshine {sorry for all of you that are freezing}. freedom, we are all blessed with {thanks to our service men and women}. i can however hope you eNjoY these flowers as much as i do! *hugs*

ok, it could be worse!

tOdaY the united states is making history....hmmmm
thank you lhindah! i realize that my day could be filled with crap like this gal. oh wait...it is, lol. i am just gonna have to pull out that to-do list and start marking things off. i need to try and eliminate all the bad crap out of mY life. hope you all have a terrific tuesday. i sure am gonna try...

go potty before you sit down...

wow, is all i can seem to think all day. besides crying and shaking my head in confusion. why you may ask? let me ask you...



how is it that you finally think things are going in the right direction and then BAM you are stopped by a ton of bricks?



many of you know i have been searching for a job since october. i was laid off with re/max and then my last show for sei was in november. due to the economy i will not be working for them next year. can't tell you how sad i was and still am. i lOvEd my job as one of their instructors so much. the customers at the shows, sei and my co-show/workers including the other manufactures workers were some of the most amaZing group of people i have ever met. i think without many of them i wouldn't have made it through this year. mY heart is truly full with the memories i will cherish, just because of them. lynn always new just what to say without even saying it. the best way for him...the smile, nod and a joKe!!! val...my second mom! thank you for the hugs and the talks. brittanY...OH brittany! what can i say...you are truly a sister to me. i was only blessed with one sister and if i had to...i'd pick YOU! josh...a big brother i never had. not sure if i want one but, i got him...thanks josh! sid, linda, leanna, robert, george, sally!!! without you all, my life wouldn't be so touched. linda and sid...you gave me a chance of a lifetime. i hope i never disappointed you or your company. i stood on that pedestal lynn, did i fall?



so back to today. i finally got a call that i had been waiting on. a JOB!!! so why am i not filled with excitement? i think the LORD has other plans. one i was not counting on and surely did not want! without going into details now {maybe in due time} i had to decline the offer. as many tell me...when one door closes one door opens. it's hard for me to see this. hard for me to believe that it does get better. why is it happening to me? why now? why can't the Lord see i don't think i can take much more? what am i NOT doing that i should? why, why, why?



i have been thinking long and hard today with endless tears. what if it were mY last day? am i ready to go? is mY life settled? am i truly happy? do i need forgiveness and do i need to give it as well?



i should be counting my blessing right about now, right? i am but, it is still hard. i have empty spaces that need filled. i have friends that i have let go or who have gone. i want them back!! i truly believe i NEED them. a friend told me tOdaY that just maybe i need to start asking for help. who me? not possible, i don't do that! i couldn't do that! then the words of my lovely aunt cindy again..."connie, if you don't let people help you, you are denying them blessings. in time, it will be your turn to serve." ok, OK! i get it. i need help. i know my life is craZy and it probably always will be but sometimes you have got to let go. can i do this? i am not entirely sure. do i want to? kinda scared. do i have to? ABSOLUTELY!!! if some of you out there get a phone call from me...i hope you pick up. i need all the help i can get.



so this blog leaves you more confused and baffled. guess what...me too!! remember i requested you to "log on and enjoy the journey...the rest is still unwritten?" well, i hope you continue this journey with me as i am still CREATING myself. have an amaZing night and thanks for reading. *hugs*