so much more to share...all these wonderful ladies were welcomed with open arms to this beautiful and safe place in mccall, idaho.

after we greeted them all we had a wonderful dinner waiting for them. all the meals were handmade with love {snacks & desserts included}. we then were given names of a group of ladies who we were to show to their rooms and get them settled. i was blessed to have terri and julianne.

these two ladies were riot! i captured a picture of that very first night in their room. this was just the beginning. this is where all the magic began for me.

the art that you create at brave girls camp is soulful art, self art, healing art. in every piece you make to discover a part of you that you want to forget, that you want to re~live, that you want to cultivate. in all your art you learn more about yourself, more that you like or dislike but one thing for sure...it reminds you of the magic. art truly saves and it truly does heal you!! i am blessed that melody followed her dream and together her and kathy have changed lives.

{brave girls camp part 2}...

i am still struggling with the right words to explain fully what {brave girls camp} is. you can check their {website}, {facebook} page or even their {blog} to read all the ins and outs of brave girls club. though i don't know if that would fully explain the magic.

i am going to try and put in words how i experienced brave girls camp and see if i can do it justice.

have you ever felt that you were hiding behind something? hiding yourself behind your smile?i think at one time or another we all do this. we don't want to let the world in...we don't want everyone to know what our life is REALLY like behind our walls. i have come to realize that it is OK to share my story. that it is ok when life ISN'T perfect all the time. that it's ok to let people in. even though i have been broken, even though the trust has been broken, even when i feel like i can't go one more step. i can't take anymore heartache or trials. i have to remind myself that my journey is well worth one more step forward.

at brave girls camp it is like we shed our old skin and our new skin becomes alive. our smiles are REAL, our burdens are lifted and our hearts are filled. we learn to be OK with ourselves. that there is probably someone out there that HAS walked in our shoes. who HAS experienced what we are going through and that they are a survivor. we come to understand that boundaries need to be set, that our lives are WORTH something. that we are here, right now, at this very moment...here at brave girls camp for a reason.

our stories are not always the same. our paths are not always straight. that our souls are somehow broken. yet, we begin to feel safe!

when you are picked up by the shuttle & marq {melody's amaZing husband} you start to let go. you are then greeted by melody and are welcomed to this life changing adventure. you are asked to pull out a little handmade bag that says "do not open". then you are asked to open the bag, place the bird seed in your hand and when prompted to... you are to throw the bird seed into the sky. here you are to leave your "worries for the birds" and your beautiful life changing journey begins...

more to come...

{bgc} the beginning

my heart is so full.
my heart is so happy.
my heart feels complete.
my heart is brave!


i struggle to find just the right words to express {brave girl camp}. it was the 1 year anniversary and i was blessed to come as staff. i was willing and ready to give. what i wasn't ready for, was how much i was going to gain.

all of the staff members had attended at least one {many of them had attended multiple times} of the camps. so we all knew how these ladies were going to be love, served and have a safe place to rest. i truly believe melody and kathy were directed by a higher power to bring all of these amaZing women to staff at this very sacred place. i fell in love with each and everyone of the staff gals. it's like we had been friends forever. we laughed, we cried, we worked our behinds off, we shared and we loved so deeply. i will never, ever begin to show them all how much this touched my sOuL!

my "emotional bubble bath" is over flowing right now. this will have to do until later. much <3

{{hugs}}

connie

i am sitting at the hospital in flagstaff with my mom and thinking to myself..."i don't like seeing her like this". she had to have surgery on her hip again. the hardware they put in last year came loose and she has been in pain for over 6 months.

my mom is my hero! she has always been there for me. she has been my best friend since i was born, lol. to see her in pain, to see her restless, to see her helpless just breaks my heart and makes me cry.

not only is this week a very stressful one for me, it will be a challenging one. one where i will need to find all the strength that i have to just make it through these next few days. life has given me some challenges to overcome and some decisions that were very difficult to make. though i know in the end...they will be for the best.

i know that this is just a test of my strength and courage. i know this to shall pass. i am learning that i don't always have control over situations that arise. that choices others make can interfere with my decisions. i just need to remember that they are MY choices. that i may listen to advice from others but i don't have to apply them to my life.

in the end i know that things will work out. it's just very difficult for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

please say a little prayer for my mom tonight. may the Lord keep her safe while i am not with her.

{{hugs}} and goodnight.

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow or sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it".

i was reminded on wednesday night that it's ok to stand up for what you believe in. to trust in yourself and the Lord to guide you. no matter what faith you are, if you trust in the Lord and try everyday to follow His example you will be blessed. i know i am a child of God. i know that he loves me and accepts me for WHO i am. i know that even though i have fallen off the beaten path that i will always find my way home. in time i know that to be true. for now, i will follow my heart and when I am ready...i will be whole! thank you bishop nielsen for allowing me to be me and loving me even though i am less active. by your example and love of the Lord, i know someday i will find my way back.

{{hugs}} connie

i am learning each and every day what is truly important in this life. i am taking baby steps to find ME and be the person I want to be. i can't give myself and of myself as i have in the past. i felt as though what i WAS giving, was NEVER enough or NEVER good enough. it's hard to change that after sooo very many years. it's hard to tell yourself...you ARE good! that you do have a lot to give and to offer others. i am also learning that it's ok to take time for yourself to re-organize and rejuvenate...your heart, body, mind and spirit. by doing so, you find your inner truth, the best of YOU! what i find beautiful in this life has made realize what is important in this life...family and friends!

my family is the most important, special gift that i have been blessed with. i don't know where i would be or what i would be doing without them. my kids have blessed my life for over 19 years. i have grown with them as well as grown up. they have given me trials and blessing to strengthen me. i have learned so very much from them. i was blessed to have had a man give me these 4 beautiful gifts. each one of them have such a sweet spirit.

austin has given me more than he will EVER know or understand in this life. my life has been truly enriched and touched by him. if you haven't been touched by his smile or sweet spirit, you my friend, have missed out.

trevor, my miracle baby! his talents are so incredible that a mother could not be more pleased. his heart is so full of love that very few will ever get the chance to share. i hope that one day...he will share it with the world.

dallin always was a momma's boy. he is such a go-getter. his tender heart is one that will win everyone over with. through his struggles he finds a way to work through it and sports has help a lot. something i admire in him is his determination. no mater the outcome, he just picks up the pieces and moves along.

my baby girl, haleigh! she is truly a light at the end of a dark tunnel. her sense of humor will turn any bad day to a good one. to live with three strong brothers is a good thing for her. she will ALWAYS be protected!! i have always said good things come in small packages and how this is so true to her as well. she has been such a strong girl to have been through so much in her short life.

god has truly given me the best gift ever to be a mom to these 4 amaZing children!!

a second chance at love and true happiness is such a special gift. to be loved unconditional, no matter what, is true HAPPINESS! i found my best friend in a man who knows who HE is. who excepts the good and the bad. who has taken on more than he should have. who doesn't go to bed without saying goodnight and i love you. who loves me more than i have ever been loved. who loves my children and family for WHO they are. who smiles at the simple things and laughs at the bad things and moves on. who wakes up ever day starting it new and with a clean slate. who says "good morning my love" each and every morning. who wants only the best for this life. who has found his everything and for that...i am one luCkY lady! tom, thank you for loving me everyday. for teaching me how to have fuN. for sharing your life with me and the kids. for allowing me to be ME and not somebody you want me to be. for giving me strength everyday to see what is most important. for supporting me through counseling, life retreats, family time and our time. you my love, my husband, my best friend make me smile everyday!!

my extended family...oh i wouldn't even be here without them. literally, had to have a man and women to get me here, lol. was getting too sentimental. no seriously...i have a wonderful mother, two fathers, 4 brothers, 1 sister, grandparents, many aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. i also have a wonderful father-in-law and mother-in-law who have taken me, my children and family into their family. what a true humble blessing.

i swear my friends are part of my family. i don't seem to have trouble making friends. i have always loved meeting new people. i do keep them really close to me and my heart. i have been blessed with so many great people in my life. some really close, some at a distant, work friends, and friends through family and friend. wow, BLESSED! i am learning as well that you can have many friends and where those friends stand in my life. how near or far they may be. that there is much to learn and gain from these friends of mine. that in time you may need to de-clutter your life and sometimes that may be friends as well. and you know what, that is OK!! i have gotten and they have received all that could be from the friendship and it's time to move on. sometimes it's really hard and sad but most of the time...it's a good thing.

this life is a true learning experience! what i have learned, what i am still learning and what i can't wait to learn... is so exciting!

peace is coming...i can feel it!

last minute cancellations for {Creative Escape}

if you have always wanted to attend...here is your chance!!

Don't miss the ultimate scrapbook indulgence hosted by Bazzill Basics Paper and Heidi Swapp, in Arizona, Aug. 26 – 28, 2010.

Bring a friend and enjoy:

* Ten classes taught by some of the industry’s greatest teachers.

* Products from fabulous scrapbooking sponsors who love the legacy of scrapbooking.

* A chance to trade projects and goodies with CE friends in the beautifully decorated Provo Craft Swap Room.

* A place for inspiration and ideas with the girls in the wild and crazy House of 3 Crop Room.

* Delicious gourmet meals and decadent surprises.

* A chance to participate in fundraising-fun with teachers past and present and the ScrapMap Cruise team… all supporting the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

For more information, visit creativeescapeaz.com/2010. Register now!

i am posting today as i have many thoughts in my head.

have you ever felt like you needed to just STOP and LISTEN?!

i did that and i found my heart and mind saying "check on a friend".

i stopped and took a moment to check on that friend.

as i received a response back she told me i just stopped her from doing something that might have changed her life and many others.

this post is to remind myself and others how important this LIFE is.

how special we ALL are.

that we ALL have so much to give and so much to gain in this life.

we all have struggle and challenges.

some may be very small while others are quite BIG.

it's how we deal with these challenges that makes our life what it is and what it can be.

sometimes it might be hard to take that step forward not knowing what the outcome may be.

though you never will know if you don't try.

take that one little step, let go and be BRAVE!

cause YOU my friend are loved!

{{hugs}} connie


A journey of a thousand miles

begins with a single step.
~Lao-tzu

{lovely}

i heard this song the other day while i was in the shower. i immediately had to get out and find out who was singing it.

i LOVE the lyrics and thought to myself...

yep, i AM lovely!!

so are all of you out there.

remember don't change for someone else.

you will NEVER be happy.

you will NEVER have peace.

you will NEVER be {YOU} !!

i am learning everyday to be just ME and to be ok with myself.

as for me, the rest is still unwritten...

eNjoY...

LOVELY

(Sara Haze)

I don't wanna be her
I just wanna be little old me
I shouldn't have to think
Who am I supposed to be today
And what gave you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right

Cuz, I feel LOVELY just the way that I am
Yes, I feel LOVELY the way that I am

I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can't be all these things you project on me

Cuz I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing?

I feel LOVELY just the way that I am
Yes I, I feel LOVELY the way that I am

I need that to be enough for you
I need that to be enough for you
Cuz it's enough for me
It's enough for me

Am I supposed to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy?
I thought I was the one you always wanted me to be
It turns out
I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me

Cuz I, I am LOVELY just the way that I am
Oh yes I am
Yes I, I am LOVELY the way that I am

I am LOVELY, LOVELY
I am LOVELY !!

missing them!!!

you never know what you have until it's gone, right? well two weeks is too long for me!! can't wait to have my fuN lovin', craZy kiddos back in my arms.

i just lOvE them to pieces!!!