{one daY}

this weekend has been an eye opener for me. so many things, so many emotions, so many friends and some that have been gone for too long. i miss those friends and really wish they were here. i was introduced to lady antebellum's cd by a new friend of mine rachel. i knew a few of their songs but this cd is amaZing! i think every song i listen to i related with. i was moved to tears, laughter, dancing & singing. this song i have on my playlist is where i am...one daY i know i won't feel like i am always going backwards. that there is sun shining!!! that there is true peace out there for me. i know no one can change how my moods are but me. i know many of you have tried really hard this weekend. i can not tell you enough how thankful i am to have you in my life now. to remind me of my blessings, that there is always someone out there worse off than me, that it will get better, that i DO deserve happiness. it is just a really bad time for me. it's been a tough road...christmas doesn't make it any easier. a lot of memories with christmas aren't the same this year. i know i need to be a happy girl/mom for my kids but, it's hard. i struggle daily, YES DAILY to have strength. to wake up each morning and start a new day. i am tired of no jobs, tired of no money, tired of what could of been and wondering what could be. i know that everything that breaks me only makes me stronger but, i wanna be weak. i want life to stop for just a moment so i can catch my breath and regroup. today was a great day to do this. i spent the day with my kids watching movies, football and napping here and there. i realized again that it's the small things that truly count. the moments that aren't planned, unscripted in life. the little things that make you smile. the looks that make you laugh, and the hugs and i love you that make you cry. pondering that i don't have many more years until all my kiddos are gone. that they will no longer need me. that they will start their new life...am i ready? NO!!! i totally enjoyed those baby years. i can't get them back but, i try and remember them often. it's tough...not being with my kids all the time. so when i am with them...they are all that matter. i love to feel wanted and needed by them. i love that they can come to me and know that i am here for them. i am blessed...ok i know that {one daY} it will get better. i guess today just isn't the day.

{lessons learned}

There's some things that I regret,

Some words I wish had gone unsaid,

Some starts,

That had some bitter endings,

Been some bad times I've been through,

Damage I cannot undo,

Some things,

I wish I could do all all over again,

But it don't really matter,

Life gets that much harder,

It makes you that much stronger,

Oh, some pages turned,

Some bridges burned,

But there were,

Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,

Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,

Every change,

life has thrown me,

I'm thankful,

for every break in my heart,

I'm grateful,

for every scar,

Some pages turned,

Some bridges burned,

But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,

Some chances I just threw away,

Some roads,

I never should've taken,

Been some signs I didn't see,

Hearts that I hurt needlessly,

Some wounds,

That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,

But it don't make no difference,

The past can't be rewritten,

You get the life you're given,

Oh, some pages turned,

Some bridges burned,

But there were,

Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,

Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,

Every change,

life has thrown me,

I'm thankful,

for every break in my heart,

I'm grateful, for every scar,

Some pages turned,

Some bridges burned,

But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,

Are all the things that make you strong,

You can't change the past,

Cause it's gone,

And you just gotta move on,

Because it's all,

Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,

Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,

Every change,

life has thrown me,

I'm thankful,

for every break in my heart,

I'm grateful,

for every scar,

Some pages turned,

Some bridges burned,

But there were lessons learned,

Oh, some pages turned,

Some bridges burned,

But there were lessons learned,

Lessons learned.

~carrie underwood

rambling...

i don't want to forget

what i have,

i just need to let go

of what i don't.

~connie j. capron

as thanksgiving came and went an another holiday is just around the corner a quote popped into my head. one i hope no others will take credit, but share it. how often are we down on ourselves. thinking of what we don't have and what others do? is it friends, family, a job, money, love, trust, a home and the list could go on. how many times do we carry the bad things in our lives? the negative, the sickness, the whoa is me, what do i have? why must we let the bad always seem to outweigh the good? isn't it tiring? isn't it sad? i thought again...i know, me thinking is scary, lol. am i making the most out of this life? did i do or say anything that i regret? did i smile tOdaY? am i truly happy with me? am i creating myself to {be} happy? life is too short. life is a test. is it ok to have that moment, the one that may not last forever? many, many questions we can be asking ourselves. though i think the biggest one of them all is...ARE WE HAPPY? if we are not happy there is no way we can make others happy. there is no way we can truly love another unless we love and accept our self for who and what we are. we have to let go of the past to move forward. doesn't mean we won't forget or miss it. it just means there is a lesson there and hopefully next time around we learn something from it. it's ok to say i'm sorry. it's not ok to never forgive. it's ok to admit wrong. it's not ok to lay blame. i realize that everyday i am learning something new. something new about myself and i can even say...i like mE. i do have many good qualities! i do have a lot to offer! it may take a long time for others to realize. then again i don't need to worry about what others think of me. i only need to think of how i think of me and how i see myself. thanksgiving was tough for me this year but i got through it. my family and friends helped me get through it! i am blessed and grateful for what i have, what i hope to continue to gain and what obstacles may continue to face me. i am strong, i am invincibly, i am women!! helen reddy and mom...all because of you i can move ahead one tiny step at a time. thanks to my readers in blog land. those that read and leave comments and those that lurk. it makes me feel like i am contributing my small piece in this world. it's late and i think i have rambled enough. *hugs* and good night! connie

happy thanksgiving & happy birthday austin!!

for most of us we spend thanksgiving with family & friends. we share or thoughts and what we are thankful for. there are many that are alone on this blessed day. it may be because they are serving our country, serving their church, a divorced family or may not even have a family. on this day i am not only thankful for my blessings and what this life on earth has given me but, it is also my first born son's 18th birthday!!! i can not believe that on this day 18 years ago i was in the hospital giving birth. it doesn't seem like long ago i was was holding him and rocking him to sleep. watching him figure out this world with no eyes. watching him stumble yet find ways to make life work for him. watching him grow into such a young man. my heart is full today!!! i am truly a blessed mother to have this amaZing young man in my life. not only has he taught me and my family so much. i truly believe he has touched the world. if you have ever had the chance to exchange a hello with this young man you will know why. he will touch your soul with his beautiful smile. life has been a challenge for him as he was born totally blind. then came the autism and mental challenges. though one hello from him you were touched. your heart would truly melt! god gave him to our family because he knew we could make his life on earth one with many blessings. what we didn't know, was that we would received in return is so much more. i love you austin and i am thankful and blessed to be your mom. i hope you know how very loved and how special you are to your family, friends and all that you come in contact with. happy birthday to you!!! may this life bring you as much joy to you as you have to all of us. love, mom

happy thanksgiving to all of you!!! may you remember the true meaning of this day and share your thanks with those that mean the most to you. thank you brother jeremy for serving your country for my freedom that i may enjoy what life has to offer!

{eNjoY}

live a balanced life.

learn some and think some,

and draw and paint

and sing and dance

and play and work

every day some.

~robert fulghum

{kelly & kyle}

just wanted to share with you that my sister got married last week to her dream man! they went to vegas and got married on top of the stratosphere, just the two of them. here are some of the stinkin' cute photos of this hot couple! congrats kelly, kyle and girls!!!! love and miss you tons.

good thursday morning!!

as i sit here thinking this is my last show of the year for sei i again found a wonderful quote...

PASSION

"there are many things in life

that will catch your eye,

but only a few

will catch your heart.

pursue these".

~michael nolan

go out and make it a great day!!! pursue those "things" that catch your eye and don't let them go. hey, you only live once so what are you afraid of. *hugs*

sleepless...

so i told you yesterday about the three little quote books i bought over the weekend. they are by the same author of my "she" and "be" books, kobi yamada. the three i picked up are "do what you love", "create balance" and "chase your dreams". these tiny books are powerful. as i finished my huge to do list for this evening {about midnight} i sat in bed and started reading them again. i was inspired by so many... here it is 1:10 in the morning and i am listening to different play lists and every song is hitting a cord with me. i think it is just one of those nights that sometimes you have where...everything hits you or you just hit a wall, lol. i don't know but, i am filled with so many emotions. don't you just hate it when your brain does one of these on you when you least expect it. i have so much to do tomorrow and i should be asleep but, i feel as if i don't get this out, i will loose precious moments or another day.

awaken

"every day

that you sit back

and wait for

something to happen

is another day lost".

~jennifer flavin

well, it is now 1:30 and i need to be up at 4 so i am gonna say good night or is that good morning to you all, lol. anywho...i feel better getting some thoughts out of my brain! *hugs* connie

quote for thought...

i just have to share this quote my friend gave me the other day. when hearing it the first time i was frozen. then i asked to have it read again so i could add it to my quote book i carry in my purse. it is a strong quote! read it quite a few times as you will find it may have more than one meaning to you. i bought a few little quote books this weekend and i will have to share some with you. all three little books struck home to me. thinking positive!!! i hope you have a great week and a fabulous monday! *hugs* connie

"i am at {home} everywhere

and no where.

i always fit in but

i never quite belong."

~anonymous

random thoughts running around in this head...

as i voted yesterday i started reflecting on this country which we live. even if the outcome you had hope for wasn't granted, i pondered long and hard.

i am blessed to be an american!!
i am thankful for this great country i do live in.
for my freedom!
for the many men and women who honor their country and serve for me, my kids, my family and friends!
for waking up in the morning knowing i have a home.
that i have water, heat and electricity.
that i have food.
that i can smell the morning air.
that i can tell my children i love them.
that i can choose to make my day a good one.
i'm thankful for my trials.
that my voice can be heard.

i find these times we live in a challenge. so many things have evolved. though i know that no matter what may lay ahead of us and our country...there is much to be grateful for. for me, waking up each morning and having another day to make my life, my children's life, my friends and families lives better, makes everyday worth it!

remember to never forget what you DO have to be thankful for. don't always think of the negative. as a friend told me...if you think negative thoughts you bring that onto yourself. it is a challenge for me but, i want the positive energy in my life. I NEED IT!!!

i have been faced with many challenges and obstacles this past year and as the year is coming to an end i have been reflecting on them as well. what did i learn? what did i accomplished? did i teach my children something new? have i told my family and friends i love and appreciate them enough? have i helped another? have i savored each moment i have with others to remember for a lifetime? did i say sorry and mean it? did i forgive those who asked for forgiveness? did i give enough hugs to those in need? did i make the right choices? am i moving in the right direction? do i regret anything?

all of these questions and more flooded me this morning and i needed to get them out. think about it...as we only have 56 more days until the new year what do you need to do to make 2008 one that will have meaning? it's hard to believe that this year is almost over. i want to make these last 56 days memorable. i want to smile EVERYDAY and not regret anything. i can only learn from my mistakes and that too is a blessing.