{alreadY day 4}...where has the time gone?

wow!! it is already the 4th of january and the beginning of mY 2008 has been quite the experience. first i would like to thaNk all of you for reading my blog. the last 3 1/2 months i have written more than the last 17+ years. i find mY blog a place where i can share mY thoughts and feelings. do i want the entiRe world to read them? sometimes and sometimes i question myself in thinking do i want all too know. i have been blessed with much and i am slowly realizing {these things take time you know} how much. for 35 years i have struggled with a lot many of you know these things and many don't. i choose not to make this place to share them all. i try my hardest to make this place, mY blog, mY untold writings a place of comfort for mE. a place to share mY thoughts and feelings as i write them down. a place to go back and re-read them and then say to myself...did i write that? lol. i know that i am rambling but, there is sooo much i want to share. in the last 4 days mY life as i know it has been changed. somethings {again} good and some not so. i have decided on mY own and with the help of others that i need to find mE...the real mE. as i go back and read my entries from day one that is what i was hoping to do. have i done that? not to it's fullest. so 2008 is mY year. the year that i listen to mYself... mY thoughts, mY feelings, mY emotions, mY spirit, mY body and mY heart! i was blessed by a book that i have wanted and have so procrastinated on getting. it has been shared with me before by heidi swapp last year but, again didn't get it. i think mY firend joann knew i needed it and she knew it would help me start changing mY liFe! she added a piece of cardstock with a little saying from her heart and i will be using it as a book mark. it touched mE like nothing else has in quite sometime. though joann has done that for me the past few years. only wish she could sit on my shoulder and be there every time i think negative about myself. then again...she doesn't have too. she is in mY heart and because of that she is with me aLways! THANK YOU from the bottom of mY heart joann. so the book you ask?

by kobi yamada. it is a gReat book. mY kind of reading {as i don't like to read}. each page is filled with a quote/saying about she... i decided to sit and read the entire book and cried all the way through. i have made a challenge for myself to turn the page every day and use the quote to fill mY day with positive energy. i am starting tOdaY! i will start from the beginning...

"she loved life and it loved her right back...

celebrate her passion."

Passion...about life? tOdaY as i am thinking about this quote i decided to start simple. i am haPpY to be aLivE!!! there... i said it...i am happy for mY life and to be alive. loving lifE has always been a struggle for mE but, today is a new day, a new start to mY new life. i will learn how to live each day with passion and love lifE! as i want life to lOvE mE back and i want to feel it.

thank you mY friends for taking this journey with me. for being there for me and with me. thanks for reading my ramblings and leaving such amaZing, inSpiRing comments. they all mean more than you will ever know. to 2008...i hope to tRulY find mE!!! *hugs* connie