just what my heart needed!!

i have been struggling lately with what life has handed me.
i keep asking the question "why"?
i finally got on my knees and had a talk with God.
i didn't get all my questioned answered but i know He heard me and the answers will come when He wants me to know them.
i may not be a very religious person these days but i AM a very spiritual one.
i do talk with God.
i do read the bible.
i do talk to my bishop now and then.
i do try and walk in a straight path.
i am Christlike.

with all of this heartache i came across a couple of my friend's blogs.
chrissy {HERE} & jeanne {HERE}
it is just what my heart needed.
i have decided that i am going to take on these challenges.
you know sometimes love isn't touchable or visible.
sometimes you look through it or pass it by.
sometimes you just fEeL it!!
so for 14 days in february and every friday i am going to take a deep look into LOVE!
i am going to open my eyes and look around me.
look inside of myself.
share with others.
love deeper.
{{hug}} longer
and capture what i find.


i will be taking a picture of "hearts".
i will be taking pictures of "love".
i will be looking high and low
far and wide
inside and out!

thank you chrissy and jeanne for this small reminder.
thank you for taking the time to notice "hearts" and love.
thank you for sharing your love and hearts with me.

i am truly blessed!
today my heart is grateful.

a helping hand...

Many of you have asked how you can help out my Aunt and our family.

The Mesa Police Department is having a BBQ fundraiser to benefit my Aunt Cindy Biesemeyer on Wed Jan 26th from 11 - 2pm in the Central PD parking lot @ 1st and Robson.

If you can't attend, there is a bank account @ Wells Fargo for donations, acct #1343926158.

My Aunt and Uncle could really use the help as Aunt Cindy has been forced to retire and Uncle Dan lost his job in November.

THANK YOU!

Your love, support and prayers help more than you know.

{{hugs}}

happy 16th dallin!!

it's hard to believe my baby boy is 16 today!!

where did all those years go?

dallin has grown into such a great young man.

he is very caring and sensitive.

something to be treasured.

i am truly honored and blessed to be his mother.

as it is my job to love and nurture my children.

dallin, i want you to know how proud i am of YOU.

i want you to know what a blessing you are in MY life!

i want you to feel loved.

i want you to be happy.

i want you to succeed in life.

i want you to dream and dream big.

i want you to always know, that no matter what...

I LOVE YOU!!

thanks for being an example to me.

thanks for showing love to your family.

thanks for choosing good friends.

thanks for being protective over your loved ones.

thanks for showing others how to be a child of God.

thanks for being YOU!!

may you have a wonderful day and enjoy it...

you are only 16 once.

love always and forever,

your mom!

i love you aunt cindy!!

re-post of a couple blogs entries and a new one.

Thursday, February 19, 2009
trying to understand...

i am having a really difficult time right now. we seem to always think things are bad in our lives. that our lives are so full of negativity and crap. then...you hear of someone else's life. you sit back and say to yourself... it could be worse, right? well, i feel like mY family has been hit with a ton of bricks. my aunt cindy, the one that i am always quoting here was just diagnosed with rare stomach and esophageal cancer. our family is still in shock! we are asking any of you who feel the need to help us find the right doctors for her to fast and pray. we are doing a family fast saturday night until sunday at 4 pm. any and all prayers are so much appreciated. it's a true test of faith when something like this occurs. you have all sorts of emotions...denial, anger, fear, frustration and so much more. you wonder why them? why would God do this to someone so righteous. someone who has so much to give and so much more to offer. you are so full of emotions that you wish it was a dream. well, it's not and now we have to face this with positiveness and hope. hope to find the right doctors for this rare cancer. hope that she and her family will stay strong. hope that her body will do all it can to continue to hold on. i am sooo blessed to have my aunt in my life. she has taught me more than she knows. she is a true child of God and i am honored to call her my aunt. may we all remember that this life is short. that you never know what God has in store for you. that you treat each day as if it were your last. that you love always, laugh much and forgive others! i love you aunt cindy! you are my hero!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009
tHaNk yOu

it's been awhile since i have written. tOdaY is a daY i need to write! i have so much to be thankful for. so much to love and live for. my blessing are flowing over and i just can't seem to get it all out today.

don't know why but i started renting movies from netflix. i do know why...the movie rentals and late fees are outrageous! one of the first movies i received is ps. i love you. oh my gosh!!! why have i not seen this movie before. i mean, come on...it's been out for 2 years now. maybe it wasn't the right time to see it. then when i got it and read the cover...i thought, do i want to watch this movie right now. with all that is going on in my life and with my aunt, i just can't. i have had this movie for 5 days and i put it in this morning. WOW is all i can say. i took so much out of this movie. life is short and we must live it and treasure every moment of it. if we don't...it just might not be worth living. so what if you have a bad day or someone made you mad. what are you gonna do about it? how are you going to deal with it? we have all had a loved one pass on, right? how did you cope? what did you do to celebrate their life? did you celebrate it or did you just treat it as another day? how do you celebrate it years later? what did you learn if anything? people make mistakes. we are suppose to. if we don't, we would be perfect and NO ONE is perfect! we are to dust ourselves off, jump back up and move forward. i know i have said this before but it is all coming full circle and hitting me right in the face.

"it's the little things" i say, that mean the most. the "i love you most", the good nights, the kisses when you tuck the kids in bed, the smiles on faces, the smell of fresh cut grass, the "hellos" and so many more. i am done trying to figure this life out. i have decided it's time to LIVE it! to celebrate the little things. to say thaNk yOu when complimented, to smiLe when i really don't want to cause maybe someone is falling in love with mY smile. it's giving when you have nothing else to give.

so this blog is my creativity for the day. mY something new that made me laugh, cry and smile all at the same time. it's my time to say "thank you" to all of you. for your support, your words, your thoughts, your kindness, your friendship and love! thanks for all the things you continue to do for me in mY life!!

"i am ok, i am alright. though you have gone from my life. you said that it would, now everything should be alright". ~flogging molly

january 13, 2011
so i have been absent for a long while, have many "draft" blogs and still no posting from me. well i came home from the mayo hospital in phoenix last night. after all this time...we thought my aunt cindy was a cancer survivor!! all her PET scans came back good and things were somewhat back to "normal" for her. well not so...on december 23rd she went to the hospital for her 6 week stretch of her esophagus and she was admitted until january 2nd. on monday january 10th she was rushed to the er and admitted to the icu. family and friends were told to come. now it will be in the Lord's hands on His time. the cancer has spread all over. it's now in her liver and around her heart. i made a decision to drop what i was doing because i DO NOT want to have any regrets at the start of a new year or anymore in my life. i asked my 4 children if they would like to see their aunt cindy before she is called home. each one of them said "yes". so we packed our bags and off we went at 7pm to go to the valley. we arrived at 11pm, i settled them all in, we slept or at least the kids did and in the morning we headed to the hospital. each one of my precious children talked to their aunt and said they loved her. she allowed me to capture a photo {left my camera in the car} on my cell phone of my four children with our favorite aunt cindy!!

this photo will be cherished FOREVER along with the other ones and all the memories i have with her. aunt cindy...did i ever tell you you're my HERO!!! you're everything i wish i could be. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

today i am letting myself cry, letting my soul feel. today i am letting my body rest and trying to go to where the peace is. today i am reminded again what really is important in this life...FAMILY !!!

until next time my friends.
{{hugs}}
connie